Sports Advice: Did you have fun?

I have some sports advice for parents. The first thing you should ever ask your child after a sporting event is “did you have fun?” I’ll tell you why.

Based on a true story

I finished coaching a U9 boys game and before I went back to my car I hung out at the fields for an extra ten minutes or so. As I made my way towards the parking lot, I could see the Ford Focus one of my players parent’s drove. The car was parked at the front while I parked more in the back.

I was in a good mood because we won the game. I passed by the Ford Focus, smiled and waved to the dad. He gave me a half smile and nod. I said to myself “that was weird, he looks upset.” As I passed by the drivers side door I saw him look into the rear view mirror. Sitting in the back seat is his son with his head down. Glancing back at the dad I could see him berating his son on his performance in the game.

Cream of the crop

The reason I remember this so vividly is because this dad’s son was the best player in the age group. Carrying that title in arguably the best youth soccer city in the US means you’re a real talent.

Everything he did on the field was exceptional. He put in the most effort both offensively and defensively. He had vision on the field and incredible speed with equal skill. When he scored goals he scored them in style.

Writing on the wall

I knew this dad was intense because I would catch him pacing the sidelines. Sometimes, he’d leave the field shaking his head if his son’s performance wasn’t good enough based on whatever crazy standards he had.

I had face to face and phone conversations with him regarding some of his sideline behavior and body language. I always re-iterated that these are young boys and it’s the best time to enjoy them playing a game.

What happened?

The team graduated to another coach after three years with me.

His son quit soccer when he was 11.

Sports advice: Did you have fun?

I think about this unbelievably talented kid and what heights he could have achieved as a player had his dad just asked him after every practice and game – “Did you have fun?”